? Nigeria still remains my country ? ? ?
1. When I was a kid, Pussy means Cat, Sex means Gender, DICK was a name, And Bang was a sound, What’s happening to this Generation? End time, I guess!
2. You drank garri twice today, buy #100 recharge card and get 10mb, came on Facebook and wrote ''Money no be problem' Ur case dey court
3. You dey owe mama Ikenna #50 and you dey wear ''My money grow like grass T-shirt'' Weldon sir!
4. You fit pay #5000 enter club but for church na #20 be your offering God is watching you o
5. You're too big to dance in church but you go gaga crazy when you hear the (gbedu wey dey burst brain) God dey watch you too o
6. You're married but still chases other ladies and you claim you're going for refresher courses Your cup go soon full
7. Just because you met him in a bus and he bought you gala, you cum store his name as ''Bros gala'' Sister thank you o ?
8. You're an O' level holder but you sponsor your girl for university My brother, you be scholarship board?
9. You dey inside hotel room snap picture come upload and write ''Home Sweet Home'' Your Matter Dey God's Hand
10. You enter public transport #600 to go ShopRite go snap picture with other people's goods, Abeg wetin I wan tell you?''
11. Do you know that 90% of Girls Urinate On Their Body While Bathing ?
12. Dangote did not send 'I love you Jesus to 25 people before he get rich' please stop disturbing me or else I will curse u ooo
13. NEPA is the Major cause of unwanted Pregnancy in Nigeria Everything starts when she Enters the Room to Charge Her Phone ?
14. Salary 20k, Phone 400k, Weavon 30k. And you go to church to ask God for a Miracle, When you are already Performing magic ?
15. If You Were Ask To Collect N1,000. From All Your EX How Much Will You Get ?
As For Me I have not counted mine yet
16. I overheard a girl talking to her BF, initially I thought she was talking to God, because the things she asked for only God can provide them ?
17. When the devil fails to destroy you, it sends you a girlfriend from MBA....., I no mention any place oooo ?
18. Plz Know your priorities and spend your money wisely. Don't go and buy selfie stick when your armpit really needs a shaving stick.
19. Marriage is like jamb You will be admiring UniBen & UNN but last last end up in OmoPoly ?
20. Don't ever insult or challenge the woman who cook ur food bcos #20 can buy Rat Poison. My hands no dey ooo
21. For Those Of You Who Went To Private School And Are Intelligent, What Is The Past Tense Of GOtv?
22. Some have bae but can not cheat ? .Some can cheat but have no bae ? . I have bae and I can la la la what do you want to hear? Amebo ?
23. Some chicks be like:” I can't cook my mom didn't teach me babe. “Now tell me, who taught you doggy style hehh??
24. It's only African parents dat will advice you for 6hours & still tell you "I don't have much to say".. ? ? ?
25. After having sex with many guys some girls will still call that area private part, for ur information is not private but public.
26. I am done with breaking people's heart ? Am now focusing on the spinal cord ?
27. It's only in Nigeria movies that you will see an angel with a tribal mark
28. True love is when you wear your Girlfriend's underwear to show Other girls that you are already taken. ? ?
29. Some will be dating an ugly girl & be like another man's food is another man's poison, my friend poison na poison nothing like another man’s food ?
30. She is not good in bed, She is not good in bed! My brother have u tried the table, chair or floor, she must be good Somewhere.
31. Some Ladies On Facebook They Look Like Beyoncé. In Real Life, they Look Like Mugabe, Why? Can somebody explain better to me please?
32. Ladies ? Pls Try as Much as Possible to Look Like the Person on ur Profile Pic.
This is the 10th Time my Cousin is Wasting Transport
33. U came to kidnap me with a G-Wagon and u expect me to shout. Abeg shift make I balance well. ?
34. Cigarettes and weed are for small boys, real men smoke mosquito coil ? ? ?
35. I have never seen someone having heart beat than a guy who impregnate a soldier daughter. He'll start chewing water, end up drinking rice
36. Guys, whatever you do in this life, don't offend your village people My neighbour won 500k from bet9ja and his girlfriend washed it with his trousers. ? ?
37. These days, Davido's girlfriend trend more than some Nigerian artist. When last did you hear from Terry G?
38. This is Nigeria where girls borrow make-up and dress just to visit a guy who borrow room from his friend. Too much Confusion and Transmissions
39. Since I was born and now i am getting old, I've never seen the wife of a president pregnant. Brothers and sister have you seen?
40. Some girls will plait their hair and their forehead will be shining as if their brain is using solar energy. Lemme come and go abeg.
41. Men are like BLUETOOTH CONNECTION. When you're beside them, they stay connected. But when you're away they search for NEW DEVICES.
42. How Chinese people choose their kids name. Very simple! Just throw their pot or pans down the stairs and listen to sound, ''Ding-Ping-Wong-Chung-Feng''. sweet 16 court wears
43. Don't trust a girl who doesn't use her father's name on social media. If she can deny her father, my brother who're you?