Breastfeeding and I have never clicked.
I'm so gutted that I don't feel that love that other Mums seem to possess for nourishing their baby with breast milk.
I've accepted it and I don't let anyone make me feel bad or that I should be doing anything different to what I am....
I didn't start breastfeeding Sienna till she was 7 weeks old. I was attached to a pump for 20 minutes every 3 hours right up until the week before we left hospital (14 weeks old). I had a fairly unnatural start to the whole concept of breastfeeding so I cut myself a bit of slack.
I never had a large supply and it wasn't until Sienna started needing more and more that I actually freaked out that I wouldn't be able to feed my baby. I tried drugs, herbs and power pumping but my supply just couldn't keep up with my growing baby.
The nurses at the hospital were really amazing in not pressuring me to produce more milk, they simply used pre-made milk formula, with my consent, to top up her feeds.
I get so impatient with breastfeeding. I love the bond we share when we make eye contact but after about 10 minutes I get bored. I wouldn't consider Sienna an efficient feeder most of the time. Sometimes she can take up to 30 minutes on one boob. I never let her go that long and will almost always top her up with a bottle of formula. In the middle of the night it's so much easier and quicker to give her a full bottle of formula then it is to breastfeed then give her a bottle. I don't often do this as I know it's not good for my supply but I've been tempted many times. blushing style garments for bridesmaid in pastel pink
I think also I've been let down by the tube. Tube feeding in hospital is simple, quick and easy. You draw up the feed, attach the syringe to the end of the tube and away you go. Straight to the tummy. When it's done theres no burping or settling. I've gone from easy to hard so no wonder I get impatient.
Sienna is nearly 5 months old (6 weeks corrected) and she currently has a mix of breast milk and formula (mainly formula). I figure as long as she's getting some breast milk then I'm okay with that.
I'm hoping my breastfeeding experience with any future babies is different but for baby #1 I'll try and see her through till she comes off oxygen completely.